Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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