please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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