you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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