There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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