Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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