and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
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then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
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His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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