some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
And then he peed in my hair
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