He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
