went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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