it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
