so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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