you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
