Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
