I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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