I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
