god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize