I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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