Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
