Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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