I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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