i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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