names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Randomize
