Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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