He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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