there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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