But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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