dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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