tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Can Purell be used as lube?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
