I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
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I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
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I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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