Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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