so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
