i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
