I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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