they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
