....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
