no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
high people should be assigned attendants
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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