I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize