You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
