now i know why i became what i already was.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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