If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
