he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
