dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
