If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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