Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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