sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
