Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
