is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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