Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize