"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
