well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
