I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I party with great urgency now.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize