Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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