I hate your face
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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