Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
