great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
