I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
