the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
