I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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