Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
