this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Swine flu is the new snow day.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
