Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just blew my weed a kiss
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
