After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
