so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
