We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
