and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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